Read Part 2 Here
“I am dead! I have committed suicide; but my soul is not departing from my body“
“Yes Father! And here I am in dear Lord’s shelter. Please ask him to have mercy on me.”
Father was clueless. Perhaps he didn’t have any Ghost’s confession yet. I was clueless too. But I had to confess. I could find this only way to connect to the GOD. He has forgotten to take me with him.
“God is always with you my son!” Father encouraged me. ”You tell me what you are talking about.”
I began from the beginning,” I had a beautiful life. I had the best mother in the world, a controlling father, but caring one. And the most beautiful wife! She is beautiful in true sense, in and out.
But I failed to handle all of these. I always believed that I won’t be able to succeed in any relation. And to my beliefs, all my fears came true. Our marriage collapsed. I left the house never to return.
She didn’t try to connect to me since then. I had lost all the hopes. I couldn’t face myself. I couldn’t live any more. And one night, in grief I emptied the bottle of antidepressant which I had been taking since two months.
Next morning was another blissful morning. The wandering sunlight peeped through the window and slowly moved towards me. With a warm kiss on my forehead, it whispered gently into my ears, ‘Good Morning! ’. It was a holy peaceful touch; as some angel is around to take me with him.
I lifted my head from the pillow, and wondered how long I had been sleeping. I blinked, shut my eyes, tried to take deep breaths but; I couldn’t! I neither have sensations of the air nor the movements of chest or stomach. I opened my eyes in shock. It was like awaking from a deep sleep. There were no emotions, no thirst, no pain nor energy. A state called NULL.
I was feeling lighter as never before. I went up to the window. My eyes were not able to admire the beauty of green grass, and the fresh atmosphere. I could only thought about, my Isha. I imagined her running around over the lawn and posing for a selfie. I had lost her. Moreover I had lost myself.
That feeling generated a striking pain. All the thoughts churned up my emotions and in agony I hit the lit candle, on the table near me. It got extinguished leaving a burning mark on my hand. But I wasn’t feeling the pain. I got confused. I immediately went to the bathroom, put my hand under the running tap water; but again I couldn’t feel the water sensations. I got panicked and looked around. I picked up a shaving razor, and put a small cut on my cheek. It bled; I saw in the mirror but didn’t feel that too. My eyes were wide open. I had mixed expressions of terror and strange. I was horrified, I was sweating from inside but there was no sweat on my forehead.
I slowly moved my hand towards my chest. I was still looking in the mirror. I put my hand on the left side of the chest, and got the verdict. I heard my heart was not beating.
I was dead and wandering since two days. I am waiting for the God to take me with him. I tried to find him in the graveyard too. But nobody came. God too has rejected me, because I am failed to justify his beautiful gift, my life. “
I sighed. Father from the other side of the confession room, was not sure about my story. Still as his duty, he had to convince me for living.
“Don’t get so upset dear. Have faith in the almighty. He loves his every child. You are alive. All of these were demon’s tricks to mislead you from your path. God is always with you. Have faith in him. Go ahead and fulfill your life’s purpose. God bless you! ”
I came out of the church with a new hope. Now I had to get my Isha back. .
Read Part 2 Here